the taper metaphor store called.

With 2 days to go before National Championships, I figured a boring old training update wouldn’t be any fun. In fact, if I did that, all I’d tell you about our last hard day on Sunday, flying to Kelowna, wearing fancy compression socks, watching Phelps dominate, and waiting.

Isofacto (this might be my last ‘isofacto’ of the summer), I’ve decided to take this opportunity to offer some clarification about one of the most over-used, but perhaps least understood words in triathlon jargon: the taper. I figured since I’m in the middle of one, and I use the term with an awful lot of regularity, it might be good to get some clarification about what it is. Warning: this post is filled with triathlon-type metaphors that very few people understand. Let’s get started.

Although this goes against all of my academic training, I’ve started with Mr. Wik. I. Pedia. My Pedia says that “tapering refers to the practice of reducing, or tapering off, exercise in the days just before an important competition.” Essentially, when a person tapers, the person is resting in preparation for one, massive burst of athleticism. But that’s somewhat simplistic. What, then, is a taper like?

A taper is certainly not like burning matches. Pretend you only had 16 matches in your pack. And you kept burning them just because you could. By the time you really needed to start a fire, you’d have nothing to get the engine going. A taper, then, is like storing up matches for the precise moment you need to start a massively large inferno.

A taper is also like feeding a baby (props to Tom for this one). If you want a baby to grow big and strong, you can’t feed it steak and potatoes too soon. Instead, you feed it a little at a time. As the baby realizes how much it likes that food, it craves bigger and bigger servings. If the baby can resist the urge to raid the cookie jar all the time, that one big robbery will be all the more sweet.

But perhaps the best explanation of the taper is to compare it to preparing for a buffet. Scientists (just trust me on this) have determined that strategic attempts at starvation before gorging one’s self at a buffet actually shrinks the size of one’s stomach, thus inhibiting the gluttonous intake of everything. Rather, to be a buffet champ, you must eat small servings in the time period leading up to the buffet so you remain somewhat hungry for a long period of time. A taper, therefore, is like that. You don’t stop exercising completely or the systems shut down altogether. We just do a little less than normal so that we stay hungry, ready for the big showdown.

So that’s it. The taper is on. I’m storing matches and getting ready for the buffet for the next 40 hours. Then I’ll burn everything I’ve got and see how big of a fire I can start.

Let’s hope it’s not a smoke show.